Anger management course for parents

I pulled my hubby along to attend a workshop by NUH to learn how to manage anger.

Haha not that we are losing it but
We want to assess whether is there better way to discipline our child without showing anger

These are what we learnt :
Anger is Not a bad thing
It is one of the emotions we experience as babies

Anger does not mean No discipline

Studies have shown that 2/3 of the parents admitted to feelings of anger
Venting of anger on child can result in child being more aggressive , low self esteem , less empathic , obey rules put of fear, escalation to bullying or child abuse

" acceptable " anger vs " unacceptable" anger

Factors that affect anger-
Stress
Lack of sleep
Lack of self care especially for mothers

Trigger thoughts + stress= anger

Trigger thoughts :
Assumed intents
Eg you are trying to test me deliberately
Magnification
Eg you never listen
Labelling
You are lazy

Labelling is as emotionally damaging as spanking

Alternative explanations for trigger thoughts
Eg I can cope , kids get wild .
He is trying to cope with his feelings and needs . It is not about me

Assertive communication

I feel ____
When you _______
I understand you are feeling ______
But mummy would like to see ( quote the action of change ) next time.

See through consequences
Time out , always calm your child down , in a firm tone , tell the child you are to stand in naughty corner for 1 min and mummy going to bring you back after 1 min.

Reflection : I and my hubby learnt a lot
And learnt to control our tongue especially when we are angry.
It is good to have small group sharing as we realise we are not alone in handling difficult children.
Despite being trained in special needs and being a teacher , I realise I have less patience with my own child than with others .